We have been getting some mail and comments asking us how The Chum Slick can be written by an actual Shark. How can a Shark type? How can a Shark get internet access, etc.? For those that don't already know, here is the truth--The Chum Slick is not actually written by an actual Shark. It is written by a man who channels an actual Shark. He is known as He-Who-Channels-Sharky and this is his story:

Two years ago a man was drinking in Ensenada. He blacked out and he woke up with a shark-tooth necklace around his neck. He was excited about the necklace, because he had always thought Sharks were cool ever since he saw the movie Jaws as a kid. He asked his "drinking buddies" where it came from and if they had been responsible for its appearance, but they collectively and individually swore that they had never seen it before in their lives.

When the man got back to the states, he took the necklace to a shell shop at the beach to see if they could tell him what species of shark the tooth belonged to. They said that they had never seen a tooth like it before. The man took the tooth to the Scripps Oceanographic Institute in La Jolla California and spoke to a Professor McElphresh. The Professor was the head of the (tiny) Department of Ichtheo-Paleobiology at Scripps. He told the man that he had never seen that type of tooth before, but the small white stone in the setting of the tooth was a rare gem called a philosopher's moonstone. The professor then began acting suspiciously and started wrestling with the man. The tooth had to be his! The man kicked the professor in the testicles, and then, putting the tooth back around his neck, he was filled with a the compulsion to do something he had never done before. He tried to stop himself, but he could not. He bit the struggling professor on the face.

Upon getting home, the man sat down in front of his computer and began typing. The words flew through him as if they weren't his own, as the man was barely literate himself. When he was done typing, he signed the narrative..."Love, Sharky." HE WAS CHANNELING THE MIND AND SPIRIT OF A GREAT WHITE SHARK!

Sharky doesn't maintain his websites with his own pectoral fins or with his jaws, his thoughts are channeled through the one who wields the tooth.

This is the man.

Now that Howard Zinn and J.D. Salinger are dead, there are so very few of us left,

--Sharky