Whale blubber sculpture makes me so sleepy.

South Korea is asking the International Whaling Commission for permission to resume commercial Whaling.

``Before the ban, South Korea had bigger whaling vessels than Japan did. But now, there is not a single whaler left,'' said an official at the Ministry for Food, Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries. ``We are in a situation where we cannot completely ignore steady calls from fishermen in Ulsan and other southwestern regions.''

[Source]

Oh, Boo-hoo. Our ships were bigger. Basically what South Korea is saying is, if Japan can do it, we can do it. The problem is, Japan is breaking the law. If the International Whaling Commission decides to allow South Korea to resume Whaling, the commission might as well dissolve itself...either that or turn into a pro-Whaling lobbying group, because its existence as an apologist for scofflaw Whaling nations like Japan, Iceland, and Norway isn't cute any more. 30 out of the 84 member nations of the commission already want to allow the resumption of commercial Whaling. Nice. Kill and eat everything I guess. If only greed, stupidity, and lack of perspective were edible. Mmmmm, lack of perspective.

Nothing cultural is relative...

--El Tiburon

Governor David Paterson is waiving around his double-headed budget battle axe and taking aim at the venerable Bronx Zoo...well actually the Wildlife Conservation Society, the organization that manages the zoo. Paterson wants to cut New York State's 9 million dollar stipend to the WCS in order to trip the state budget. The Bronx Zoo, already facing pressure due to dwindling corporate donations, will have to sell off many "unpopular" animals. Already slated to go are the rare Arabian Oryx and Blesbok, as well as the entire Rare Animal Range! There are also plans to close down The World of Darkness--the supercool Bat and nocturnal animal enclosure. And they are selling off their Naked Mole Rats! What the hell? But they are keeping more common zoo animals like Elephants and Giraffes because they are popular. And now I must quote:

And thus, by catering to popularity, a zoo gets dumbed down, hampering its educational mandate.

[source]

No More Naked Mole Rats! WTF!

Many of our more extreme friends in the animal rights world--yes there are many much more extreme than us--will say that zoos are cruel. It is wrong to put animals in cages and it is good that they are losing their public funding. Yes, some zoos are cruel, and it is mainly the underfunded ones that are the cruelest. The sad thing is, most of the programs that are getting cut at zoos are the least cruel; the most cruel are remaining because they are popular. Is it cruel to house Giraffes? Maybe. Is it cruel to house Elephants? Certainly. They are some of the most intelligent and sensitive animals on the planet, but they are kept in captivity because they are big and popular. Naked Mole Rats? They don't care where the hell they are, just as long as they can dig in their own poop and be ugly, they are just fine. Besides, if it wasn't for places like zoos, people like He-Who-Channels-Sharky and El Tiburon would never have learned to love animals. Oh well, here is a funny video:

Yes.

--El Tiburon

Bea Arthur died on Saturday. So passes one of the funniest ladies ever, a master of the dead pan, and possibly the best straight man woman ever. Chumslickers, here is your lesson on comic timing(NSFW):

Love ya Bea, say hello to Madeline Kahn and Gilda Radner for us.

There are some that are bound to ask, "What the hell does this have to do with Sharks?"

We respond, "What they hell do you have to do with Sharks?"

--Sharky

A lot.

Ooops.

Jam #1: Last Friday, an unidentified man was jammed on the forearm by an unnamed species of Shark while surfing south of the Florida Power & Light Co.'s nuclear plant in St. Lucie. Radioactive Sharkman anyone? Florida's official superhero? The funny thing is that in the same newspiece a Fox attack was also reported. Foxwoman anyone? Uh, shut down the plant St. Lucie.

Jam #2: Last Sunday, 52-year-old Bruce Klinker, was surfing Jupiter, Florida when something unseen grabbed his left foot. Word is, he needed over 200 stitches to save what was left of his foot. Sweet.

Jam #3: Last Monday, New Smyrna Beach scored its second jam of the year when a 20-year-old man took a minor ankle bite while surfing. He was far luckier than Bruce Klinker. He walked out of the hospital the same day. Volusia Country has had a pretty quiet April. Lame.

(Note: in all three Florida jams there was no Shark species named. Weak.)

Jam #4. Last Monday, 23-year-old Gerald Perez was jammed while swimming off Mabini town in the Batangas province of the Philippines. He is expected to recover and "is just happy not to be in Florida. They didn't name a species for this jam either!

Always name your Shark species!

Jaguar Shark.

--Sharky

The Christ of the Abyss, a statue that was sunk 75-feet at Gilio, 80 miles from Rome by Pope John Paul II has been disfigured by Satanists? Apparently. Italian Police are investigating a Satanist cult of evil scuba divers that supposedly hacked off Christ's arms.

A police spokesman on Giglio said:

Because of the depth it is very unlikely that the statue was damaged by a propeller or net. It looks like a very deliberate attack and because it is 25 metres underwater someone was very well equipped to go down there and take off the arms. It's possible it could be an attack by Satanists who knew the statue was there and who also knew that it was a very revered symbol for the locals so it is a line of investigation.

[source]

Seeing that this story came from The Daily Mail in the UK, we are surprised they didn't claim that a rogue Great White Shark bit off Christ's arms.

Why did we run this crap story? Because every day is Earth Day, that's why. To real envirofreaks, Earth Day is amateur hour at best and at worst it is an opportunity for the corpos to throw out their latest gurgle of greenwash. Throw that on your compost pile, Hippies.

--Sharky