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Bermuda Bloodbath! Oh, Devil Irony!
Ah Bermuda, turquoise waters, British food, Rum Swizzles, and the second highest salinity level in the world, what could possibly ruin a setting like this?
SHARP JAGGED VOLCANIC REEFS!!!
This is the blood of he who channels Sharky!
How many Shark-channeling bloggers actually bleed for their fans? Just one, and it is I. Here is this reason that The Chum Slick has not been updated in a while. He who channels Sharky has been in Bermuda at the wedding of good friends. The wedding was beautiful, but the next day, tragedy struck! He who channels Sharky was snorkeling around Daniel's Head Island in a heavy current, next to a deep drop off. He was on a Shark scouting expedition--Sharky himself would not meet him in Bermuda as the water is just too warm--when he felt a strange sensation in his right heel. When he put his hand back there to see what was wrong with his heel, he felt a hole. When he brought his hand back up to his foggy mask to see if there was blood, to his horror he found his hand slashed as well! Then to his horror of all horrors, he realized that the water was turning red around him at an outgoing tide. HOLY SHIT, he thought, as he giggled up seawater. What irony! He was literally chum. As he swam back to shore, looking behind himself every three seconds, he wondered what it was that had caused the injury. Then he thought of Ryan Seacrest. It was quite improbable that the injury was caused by a Shark. It was probably caused by scraping against the volcanic reef. Still, as he swam, he did not like the fact that he was being followed by very nippy looking black and yellow fish.
As you have all figured out, he who channels Sharky made it to shore, although he was unable to enter the water for the rest of his time in Bermuda which was a serious bummer. They didn't even have reliable internet access on that part of the island or you all would have heard about this sooner.
This is he who channels Sharky's first snorkeling/diving injury and he is extremely proud of it. The Chum Slick will now resume without further interruptions. We apologize for all the unanswered e-mails and comments.
--Sharky
technorati tags: Bermuda, Sharks, snorkeling, British food, weddings, Ryan Seacrest
12 comments
Keep it clean, coral cuts can kill!
You sure you weren't Clammed?
That is obviously a lovebite from a 14' Bull shark.
Close the beaches!
Marco: 14' Bull Shark!!! You kick ass. That would be like a 100-pound House Cat! Close the Beaches!
Miss Burgin: I missed you all. How come you can strap on 100 pounds of SCUBA gear and go fifty feet into Shark infested Honduran waters and come back unscathed and he who channels Sharky puts on 50 bucks worth of Costco snorkel shit in 10 feet of water and I get jammed?
Ehme: He who channels Sharky loves the Sharky towel you got him. As Krasny the Elder, aka Creamy Clam Chowda's pop, was fashioning a tourniquet on he who channels Sharky's ankle with a snorkel mask, all he who channels Sharky could think of was how cool it would be to sop up all the blood with the Sharky towel. Real blood stains on a Sharky towel! Holy Shit! If you made up those t-shirts he would wear one until it became part of his back like flora on a Tree Sloth's scalp.
Again, thanks for all of your love,
--Sharky
Finster Quinn: Hmmmm, could be a Cookie Puss...I've heard that Mr. Monster has been eating more fruit lately.
--Sharky
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