Discovery Channel is very good at promoting irrational fear of Sharks.

While environmental regulations are nice, never hold your breath when in comes to government intervention in environmental matters. The purpose of law is not to regulate ethics, or to uphold what is right, or to do what is best for the public good. The purpose of law is to maintain order, stability, the status quo. We would love government agencies to get muscular about drift nets and pirate fishing fleets, Shark finning, Whaling in ocean preserves, and so on, we cannot expect them to. One of the driving ideologies in the United States is deregulation of industry, before the recent economic troubles, deregulation was practically a religion. It is "unAmerican" to be told what to do by big brother and the gang. Isn't it? Not really. People tend to be pretty lazy. Not lazy in getting out of bed to go to work or mowing the lawn or getting to the gym so much as lazy in the head. The Chum Slick gets mail on a nearly daily basis telling us to lay off fishermen for sport killing Sharks. Why? Because the fishermen aren't breaking any laws. Just because something is legal makes it alright? So then are we to believe that it is the government's responsibility to regulate ethics? If one believes something is acceptable because it is legal, then one must operate with the expectation that it is the government's job to tell us what is right. But, the same people that tell us to quit "whining" about an issue because it is legal are usually the same people that are big fans of a "hands-off" government. Strange isn't it?

Uh, what the hell is your point, Sharky?

A lot of bureaucratic--not to mention ideological--hassle can be saved if like-minded individuals and groups with shared interests worked together to police their own interests. This is what cartels do, what the mafia did in their heyday, and what lobbyists do. We like Sharks. That is our shared interest.

On August 2, the Discovery Channel starts airing it's Shark Week programming. The quality of the programs varies from show to show. Some are fairly informative. Some have pretty damn good videography. Others are pure sensationalist trash that do nothing but perpetrate the misinformation that Sharks are bloodthirsty monsters. These programs are what our friends at Underwater Thrills, a commercial Shark diving industry blog call "Shark Porn." This is how they define it:

Shark Porn-(noun) Creative activity (writing or pictures or films) of no literary or artistic value other than to stimulate an intense fear of all species of sharks.

[Underwater Thrills]

Much of Discovery Channel's Shark Week programming, with titles like Ocean of Fear: The Worst Shark Attack Ever, Sharks -- Are They Hunting Us?, and Bull Shark: The World's Deadliest Shark, clearly qualify as Shark Porn.

But hey, you say. What is wrong with a little porn now and then, Shark or otherwise? Nothing, but the problem with Shark Week in particular is that it is the primary source where most of cable/satellite dish watching worlds gets its Shark information. The only contact, vicarious or otherwise that most people have with Sharks is what they see on Shark Week. Is there any wonder that thousands of boozed-up testosterone-deficient yahoos pile on boats every summer to partake in "monster shark" tournaments? Many people really do think Sharks are out to get them. So what is the answer? We could all boycott Discovery Channel and send them angry letters. That is not likely to work. People really like Shark Week it gets good ratings. Hell, we even watch it, albeit with out fingers clamped tightly on out nose, just because we like seeing awesome video of awesome Sharks...video...there must be divers, photographers, directors, videographers, and whole underwater film crews that shoot these programs right? Maybe if these crews, who purport to love Sharks, classed up their act and policed their own industry, the Shark Week watching public might get a more quality educational product. People might start to get a truer picture of Sharks and their natural place in the ecosphere.

And this is where our cut-and-paste skills really come in. The friendly folks at Underwater Thrills have proposed an initiative for those who are involved in Shark diving and Shark-oriented media.

The Contract For Sharks

1. The identification of what constitutes Shark Porn. Written guidelines for better programming for operators and production companies.

2. A "Contract For Sharks" signed by participating commercial shark operations that openly declares participating operators will not enable Shark Porn productions via their dive sites.

3. A logo for websites with a small educational component for the public and certification of the same.

4. Public awareness and outreach via participating operators emails lists and press releases.

Shark Week programming does not have to be what it has become. Lack of imagination and a complacent shark diving industry has made it so. The changes start with us, those that profess to care about sharks, those that are involved in shark conservation.

The "Contract For Sharks" does not stop participating operators from working with film crews or conducting business with Discovery Networks. It does allow participating operators to conduct better business with a strong industry leadership...for the benefit of sharks.

[Underwater Thrills]

We can imagine what a programmer at Discovery Networks would say if they hear about this initiative. "But the viewers like Shark Porn!" Maybe. But we bet the production crews and programmers are savvy enough to provide Shark shows with high production value, educational content, and a Shark-friendly message and still rope in the viewers and ad revenue. Sharks tend to sell themselves. When it all comes down to it, it is the quality photography and production and the Sharks themselves that bring in the viewers, not cheesy ketchup-in-the-water reenactments of Shark attacks.

--Sharky